Monday, October 27, 2003
What a year it has been
I was first introduced to Olivia’s work a decade ago. My Baby sister was instrumental in my meeting her yesterday.
I was so nervous. We got to speak about a lot of things but most of it was things I already knew about her. I must have been shaking when I shook her hand. She is so beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong, she is this incredible force of a person if you chose to oppose her.
I came away with the impression that she has a message & she tells it to you.
It was like my comment to je. Her style is distinct. Sorayama is raunchy, glitzy and chrome. Leighton (a part of my life I wished I shared with her) is bold in a soft, voluptuous, pastel color way. Petty is pubescent pretty. Olivia is bold, the lines on her creations are defined. I hope she understood me when I tried to contrast her to Sorayama; she is erotic but not so much in a graphic and pleasure-pain way. Everything is tame, subtle yet Bold. Her works are edgy and not round like Leighton. At last, they are all contemporary women – strong, beautiful and head-strong. Much like my Baby sister.
I was first introduced to Olivia’s work a decade ago. My Baby sister was instrumental in my meeting her yesterday.
I was so nervous. We got to speak about a lot of things but most of it was things I already knew about her. I must have been shaking when I shook her hand. She is so beautiful.
Don’t get me wrong, she is this incredible force of a person if you chose to oppose her.
I came away with the impression that she has a message & she tells it to you.
It was like my comment to je. Her style is distinct. Sorayama is raunchy, glitzy and chrome. Leighton (a part of my life I wished I shared with her) is bold in a soft, voluptuous, pastel color way. Petty is pubescent pretty. Olivia is bold, the lines on her creations are defined. I hope she understood me when I tried to contrast her to Sorayama; she is erotic but not so much in a graphic and pleasure-pain way. Everything is tame, subtle yet Bold. Her works are edgy and not round like Leighton. At last, they are all contemporary women – strong, beautiful and head-strong. Much like my Baby sister.
Friday, October 24, 2003
The chase continues . . .
Speaking of remembering?
Why didn’t you reply about the (CAT)? Feisty-One.
And the thing about home & your personal life?
Boundaries, et cetera.
Could it be?!? - a sliver of hope :)
I thought we agreed you were not going to make it difficult (hard) on me.
And I was not going to chase (pursue) after you.
________________________________________________________
The Truth (yes, back to reality) things are easier at a distance.
The Space And Time (SAT) allows me to Study And Think (SAT) a studious response.
Don’t get me wrong.
I can totally be a Cold Hearted Bastard (CHB) up close.
Maybe that is what throws people I care about off.
The openness / without Tact I offer myself cause I feel safe under stress (with them).
Imagine the Games / Boundaries we could have broken.
Risking your Image / Reputation and the External Perception of You at every turn.
In many ways ruining you . . .
the challenge . . .
to restore all the things: Redefine / re-Invent / Broken (Adam’s RIB).
At last, what we are left with is artificial.
Dangerous games are exciting because of the stakes
My Weakness against Your Weakness.
This, this . . . is unfair.
I cannot / shall not take advantage of you.
I had to re-word that; it was originally, “I cannot take advantage of you.”
Which I know would have sounded like I had planned on . . . gulp!
No, at a distance the opposition / game is not fair because there is no skill involved in finding out my motives. I am telling you everything.
Too Much Information (TMI) again,.
Speaking of remembering?
Why didn’t you reply about the (CAT)? Feisty-One.
And the thing about home & your personal life?
Boundaries, et cetera.
Could it be?!? - a sliver of hope :)
I thought we agreed you were not going to make it difficult (hard) on me.
And I was not going to chase (pursue) after you.
________________________________________________________
The Truth (yes, back to reality) things are easier at a distance.
The Space And Time (SAT) allows me to Study And Think (SAT) a studious response.
Don’t get me wrong.
I can totally be a Cold Hearted Bastard (CHB) up close.
Maybe that is what throws people I care about off.
The openness / without Tact I offer myself cause I feel safe under stress (with them).
Imagine the Games / Boundaries we could have broken.
Risking your Image / Reputation and the External Perception of You at every turn.
In many ways ruining you . . .
the challenge . . .
to restore all the things: Redefine / re-Invent / Broken (Adam’s RIB).
At last, what we are left with is artificial.
Dangerous games are exciting because of the stakes
My Weakness against Your Weakness.
This, this . . . is unfair.
I cannot / shall not take advantage of you.
I had to re-word that; it was originally, “I cannot take advantage of you.”
Which I know would have sounded like I had planned on . . . gulp!
No, at a distance the opposition / game is not fair because there is no skill involved in finding out my motives. I am telling you everything.
Too Much Information (TMI) again,
The chase
January 2nd is no good.
That is too much time between . . .
maybe . . . an ending New Years’ Resolution.
Hummm . . .
Do you get the Christmas / New Years / Birthday gift or party all rolled in one?
I cannot quite explain the way it is with me (the unintentional roughness).
It is almost like, I like being obscure (See!!).
It is really too bad things turned out the way they did.
I don’t believe in regrets. Let’s just say,
There are times when you almost expect me rushing in like a
Tropical Lightning Storm (TLS) because you hear all the
Thunder. Only, that is all it was – a flash shower.
Then there are the moments that I feel comfortable with you
and I do not dress up how I feel . . .
I forget the Tact / the Game . . .
I can (do) bark at times, when I can easily get my way by yelping like a puppy.
But it is exactly when I am crASS with you that shows how much I do trust you –
to forgive my indiscretions.
It is hard being with me.
Did you enjoy the quotes?
Be honest.
Were you able to sit through all those pages?
Be honest.
I ask cause I have tons of reading material “book reports”.
Or do you prefer a summary of the summary – basically an index card version.
Be honest.
Management stuff too! Just be careful, I might not recognize you anymore
if you ascribe to those philosophical teaching.
January 2nd is no good.
That is too much time between . . .
maybe . . . an ending New Years’ Resolution.
Hummm . . .
Do you get the Christmas / New Years / Birthday gift or party all rolled in one?
I cannot quite explain the way it is with me (the unintentional roughness).
It is almost like, I like being obscure (See!!).
It is really too bad things turned out the way they did.
I don’t believe in regrets. Let’s just say,
There are times when you almost expect me rushing in like a
Tropical Lightning Storm (TLS) because you hear all the
Thunder. Only, that is all it was – a flash shower.
Then there are the moments that I feel comfortable with you
and I do not dress up how I feel . . .
I forget the Tact / the Game . . .
I can (do) bark at times, when I can easily get my way by yelping like a puppy.
But it is exactly when I am crASS with you that shows how much I do trust you –
to forgive my indiscretions.
It is hard being with me.
Did you enjoy the quotes?
Be honest.
Were you able to sit through all those pages?
Be honest.
I ask cause I have tons of reading material “book reports”.
Or do you prefer a summary of the summary – basically an index card version.
Be honest.
Management stuff too! Just be careful, I might not recognize you anymore
if you ascribe to those philosophical teaching.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Connecticut, Rockland, Bergen
Have been avoiding the forum because I knew what I wanted to write about.
The effect that “writing out” the things I feel has on me.
Sometimes it is not so much relief;
Often times it is as if another part of me dies inside.
It’s the reason how I can ‘dance with death’
but it is also the reason why I cannot
should not keep people that are less than reckless.
Let’s begin.
It happened last week.
I was return from a job. There will be times when all the time in the world is at my disposal. Then there are those times when I have the time but . . . I get in one of those moods.
Anyway, I was returning from Connecticut. On I-95. I was told that I should make it back because it was not really that late.
I was going about 85 on the passing lane when the Lincoln Navigator in front of me comes to a complete stop. I was boxed in. I swear the back of the car felt like it lifted off the pavement. Broke so hard the Chevy Impala began to slide away from the partition (no shoulder). I was boxed in because there was a red Acura TL on my hip. Everything happened so fast. There was no time to contemplate what happened cause a Ford Explorer was bearing down on me.
That was just the beginning. For some reason I had decided against filling up on my way home. & I did not want to waste time. Plus traffic was bound to build up if I wait too long returning to Jersey. The fuel light came on way before the Tappan Zee bridge. I felt fortunate enough to get across. The first exit was in Rockland; there were so many opportunities for me to find my way around. There was no reason for me to get lost, ask for direction and not be able to find my way. But I did. After what seemed to be hours (but actually only about 30 minutes) I find a gas station in Bergen County. There is no reason why I could not find my way back.
It got to the point were I did not care if I’d run a light. Fish-tailed the turn toward I-80. At that point I did not even care if it was going Eastbound or Westbound.
But I made it back. Escaping harm. Danger.
Have been avoiding the forum because I knew what I wanted to write about.
The effect that “writing out” the things I feel has on me.
Sometimes it is not so much relief;
Often times it is as if another part of me dies inside.
It’s the reason how I can ‘dance with death’
but it is also the reason why I cannot
should not keep people that are less than reckless.
Let’s begin.
It happened last week.
I was return from a job. There will be times when all the time in the world is at my disposal. Then there are those times when I have the time but . . . I get in one of those moods.
Anyway, I was returning from Connecticut. On I-95. I was told that I should make it back because it was not really that late.
I was going about 85 on the passing lane when the Lincoln Navigator in front of me comes to a complete stop. I was boxed in. I swear the back of the car felt like it lifted off the pavement. Broke so hard the Chevy Impala began to slide away from the partition (no shoulder). I was boxed in because there was a red Acura TL on my hip. Everything happened so fast. There was no time to contemplate what happened cause a Ford Explorer was bearing down on me.
That was just the beginning. For some reason I had decided against filling up on my way home. & I did not want to waste time. Plus traffic was bound to build up if I wait too long returning to Jersey. The fuel light came on way before the Tappan Zee bridge. I felt fortunate enough to get across. The first exit was in Rockland; there were so many opportunities for me to find my way around. There was no reason for me to get lost, ask for direction and not be able to find my way. But I did. After what seemed to be hours (but actually only about 30 minutes) I find a gas station in Bergen County. There is no reason why I could not find my way back.
It got to the point were I did not care if I’d run a light. Fish-tailed the turn toward I-80. At that point I did not even care if it was going Eastbound or Westbound.
But I made it back. Escaping harm. Danger.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
happy 30th birthday. i (je) hope you enjoy the following excerpt.
Happy Birthday, Libra! Beauty, style and ambiance are primary driving forces in your life. An artist or designer at heart, you may choose a creative career or spend the bulk of your leisure time exploring your sensual, mystical side. You are fascinated by structure - how words are strung together, how a building is constructed, the composition of a painting or piece of music, and even the complex alchemy of fragrance. You understand that layers of pure intent or substance can be subtle or striking. At times, your mood craves sublime ambiance; but other times you hunger for something earthy and unmistakable. If you have not yet explored your immense creative talent, do so now. You are a honeycomb of artistic reservoirs and can find balance and deep, lingering satisfaction through aesthetic _expression. Your eyes are frequently commented on, probably because they're devastatingly soulful. No matter how industrious and commanding you are in public, your eyes reveal a vulnerable, doe-like vulnerability. You have a powerful sense of right and wrong and strong political or religious beliefs. In your supreme effort to right wrongs and bring balance to clearly biased situations, you may overshoot your goal. Often misjudged and misunderstood, you retain a unique, memorable mystique throughout most of your life. People are taken with you, even if they don't fully comprehend what you do or how you feel. You're a magnet for those who come in contact your memorable energy and passion. You feel a responsibility to defend the underdog. If you become successful (and many of you do), you can be very generous to beloved charities and causes. You recognize the importance of recycling the blessings the world has offered you.
Happy Birthday, Libra! Beauty, style and ambiance are primary driving forces in your life. An artist or designer at heart, you may choose a creative career or spend the bulk of your leisure time exploring your sensual, mystical side. You are fascinated by structure - how words are strung together, how a building is constructed, the composition of a painting or piece of music, and even the complex alchemy of fragrance. You understand that layers of pure intent or substance can be subtle or striking. At times, your mood craves sublime ambiance; but other times you hunger for something earthy and unmistakable. If you have not yet explored your immense creative talent, do so now. You are a honeycomb of artistic reservoirs and can find balance and deep, lingering satisfaction through aesthetic _expression. Your eyes are frequently commented on, probably because they're devastatingly soulful. No matter how industrious and commanding you are in public, your eyes reveal a vulnerable, doe-like vulnerability. You have a powerful sense of right and wrong and strong political or religious beliefs. In your supreme effort to right wrongs and bring balance to clearly biased situations, you may overshoot your goal. Often misjudged and misunderstood, you retain a unique, memorable mystique throughout most of your life. People are taken with you, even if they don't fully comprehend what you do or how you feel. You're a magnet for those who come in contact your memorable energy and passion. You feel a responsibility to defend the underdog. If you become successful (and many of you do), you can be very generous to beloved charities and causes. You recognize the importance of recycling the blessings the world has offered you.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
For tomorrow (2 October) from Astrology.com
Section 1: The Sun In The Solar Return Chart
Sun Aspects Neptune
Neptunian aspects to the Sun indicate that the native is growing more intuitive and more sensitive. This sensitivity will eventually lead to a greater compassion for other human beings and a better understanding of relationships. Individuals become less egotistical and more vulnerable during these years, since they are likely to be confronted with their own human frailty or that of someone close. Involvement with alcoholism, drug abuse, martyrdom, dependency situations, and savior-victim type relationships is the more negative manifestation of this aspect. For some individuals, being less egotistical results in an unstructured personality which lacks control, certainty, and direction. More positive manifestations include helping those in need, becoming more intuitive, and growing less concerned with selfish interests.
Sun Aspects Saturn
Sun-Saturn aspects in the solar return chart tend to imply a sense of structure. Whether this structure becomes supportive or restrictive is up to the individual's ability to handle Saturnian issues in a positive manner. This is not meant to be a depressing time, but it does entail stark realism. Accurate perceptions of existing situations are essential to either accepting or changing future expectations. The refusal to accept responsibility for one's own life situation or to work within obvious limitations can lead to frustration, isolation, and loneliness. Limitations are not an essential characteristic of Saturnian aspects, but denote a need to be more realistic and patient. Changes are slow and involve careful planning, hard work, and discipline. Many times a major project is being worked on for most of the year.
Section 2: Mercury In The Solar Return Chart
Mercury Aspects Pluto
Pluto aspecting Mercury in the solar return chart may indicate that your conscious mind is very aware of unconscious material and psychological complexes. This awareness may originate from naturally occurring insights into human behavior or educational pursuits. You are better able to perceive what is unspoken or hidden. Motivations will be clearer to you even when they are not stated. Manipulations and psychological games will also be more obvious. Most likely this awareness will not be one-sided. You will be as aware of your own unconscious nature as you are of psychological complexes in others. Resurfacing unconscious material can spill over into everyday consciousness and distorting perceptions and thinking patterns
Section 1: The Sun In The Solar Return Chart
Sun Aspects Neptune
Neptunian aspects to the Sun indicate that the native is growing more intuitive and more sensitive. This sensitivity will eventually lead to a greater compassion for other human beings and a better understanding of relationships. Individuals become less egotistical and more vulnerable during these years, since they are likely to be confronted with their own human frailty or that of someone close. Involvement with alcoholism, drug abuse, martyrdom, dependency situations, and savior-victim type relationships is the more negative manifestation of this aspect. For some individuals, being less egotistical results in an unstructured personality which lacks control, certainty, and direction. More positive manifestations include helping those in need, becoming more intuitive, and growing less concerned with selfish interests.
Sun Aspects Saturn
Sun-Saturn aspects in the solar return chart tend to imply a sense of structure. Whether this structure becomes supportive or restrictive is up to the individual's ability to handle Saturnian issues in a positive manner. This is not meant to be a depressing time, but it does entail stark realism. Accurate perceptions of existing situations are essential to either accepting or changing future expectations. The refusal to accept responsibility for one's own life situation or to work within obvious limitations can lead to frustration, isolation, and loneliness. Limitations are not an essential characteristic of Saturnian aspects, but denote a need to be more realistic and patient. Changes are slow and involve careful planning, hard work, and discipline. Many times a major project is being worked on for most of the year.
Section 2: Mercury In The Solar Return Chart
Mercury Aspects Pluto
Pluto aspecting Mercury in the solar return chart may indicate that your conscious mind is very aware of unconscious material and psychological complexes. This awareness may originate from naturally occurring insights into human behavior or educational pursuits. You are better able to perceive what is unspoken or hidden. Motivations will be clearer to you even when they are not stated. Manipulations and psychological games will also be more obvious. Most likely this awareness will not be one-sided. You will be as aware of your own unconscious nature as you are of psychological complexes in others. Resurfacing unconscious material can spill over into everyday consciousness and distorting perceptions and thinking patterns
